Insanity
by Kyasariin
Summary: Oneshot. Canon based. For the 100 Themes Challenge. Alice, unwanted by her father, is committed to an asylum. My take on Alice's backstory.


_A/N: I wanted to write a Twilight fanfiction, and this was the first thing that came to me. I know, it's not really much - just my take on Alice's backstory. I still had a lot of fun writing it, and I'm really proud of it. I think I got a few details wrong, though, and I did take a bit of artistic license with the story. Anyway, here it is! ^^;_

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><p>I knew this day was coming, but even so, I never imagined that things would turn out this bad.<p>

"Get out of here!" my uncle roared, my aunt standing close behind him looking furious. "You have no business coming here!"

"You don't understand!" I shrieked back, hysteria rising in my voice. "They're going to kill me! _They're going to kill me!"_

"Then you should die!" my uncle said. My aunt winced slightly at his words, but her face showed no remorse. "You deserve it after what you did to our son!"

I felt the tears spilling out of my eyes, stung by what he said. "F-fine!" I managed to choke out. I turned on my heel and ran away.

As I ran, I thought about my mother. Warm and kind, she would have believed me if I told her what was happening. She would have protected me from the one who was doing this to me: my own father. But now she was dead, and if I'm not careful, I'll be next.

After what felt like forever, I made it to where I intended to go: the police station. If there was one person who would listen to me, it was the marshall. No matter how crazy everyone at home thought I was, he would take my story seriously.

However, when I finally got in there, what I saw surprised me.

My father was standing there, an angry but almost _triumphant_ look in his eyes. Next to him was my stepmother, unable to contain the smug look on her face. I recoiled in horror. _What is he doing here? _was the thought that repeated in my mind. I turned to look at the marshall, but he looked stern but sad. _What was going on?_

And suddenly, I saw something. I saw myself, forced into an ambulance, crying and struggling against the men who were carrying me. The men were wearing white coats. That's when it hit me: I wasn't going to die at all. He was going to have me committed to an asylum. I couldn't stop the cry of terror that escaped my lips when I saw this.

"Father!" I cried, though I knew my attempts at changing his mind were futile. I could see him fighting back a smirk.

"This is quite enough, Mary," he said. "You're nothing but a nuisance, not just to your family, but to the whole town. You should be ashamed of yourself."

I glared at him, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything back. There were no words to describe the hatred that I felt. I shot another helpless glance at the marshall, but he was shaking his head in revulsion. I didn't even realize that I had sunk to my knees until the men from my vision picked me up by the arms and began to carry me away.

No! I couldn't let them do this! I started to struggle as they carried me out, tears escaping my eyes.

"Stop!" I sobbed. "You can't do this! I didn't do anything! Father! Help me!"

But they ignored me. I continued on like this until I felt myself being thrown into the back of the ambulance. I was still crying as it drove away.

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><p>I wasn't sure how much time had passed. I vaguely remembered the ambulance stopping and being pulled out of it roughly. Perhaps I had been asleep - I was miserable, and hardly conscious of what was going on. Suddenly, I was aware of being propped up on a chair. I opened my eyes with a start when I felt something grazing against my head.<p>

"What are you doing?" I exclaimed. I felt something drop against my shoulder, and I realized in horror that someone was shaving my head.

"_WHY?" _I screeched, and I heard a woman's cold voice say "Typhoid," as if that explained everything. Unable to contain myself, I began to sob once again. I felt another nurse hold me still as my head was shaved, but my sobbing continued.

"Get ahold of yourself," I heard her cold voice say, completely devoid of emotion. I shook and thrashed about violently.

I felt the other nurse slap me across the face. "Knock it off!" she snarled. I recoiled slightly at the sound and looked around wildly. The nurses were looking at each other, as if deciding the best course of action.

I stopped thrashing suddenly as I had another vision: The nurses, strapping me to the table and pressing something against me, my body instantly writhing and twitching in agony. My eyes widened as I came to, and I looked at the nurse desperately, as if trying to will her against it. Her hard mask didn't even flinch.

"N-no," I said quietly, shaking my head slowly. "No, please..."

"What?" the nurse asked, barely sounding interested.

"Don't do this," I whispered. "You can't...I won't let you...No, NO!" I realized that I had shouted the last word. I was in hysterics again, crying and flailing madly. I knew what was coming next, but I couldn't make myself stop.

"It's not fair!" I screamed, not realizing that I said this out loud. "I didn't do anything! I'm innocent, I swear! Father! Mother! _Help me!_"

I didn't even notice that they had picked me up and strapped me into the bed.

And then, the electric shocks began.

Suddenly aware of everything that was going on, I screamed in agony. I could feel the electricity pulsing through me, making my muscles spasm violently. My mind was full of images, both past and future, that I could hardly make sense of.

I was still screaming when it was over. I could hardly think, but one thing was certain: I wanted to die. Death was nothing compared to the pain and misery I felt now. I couldn't hear anything through my sobs, but suddenly, I felt something stab into my arm, and a calm feeling began to wash over me. As I slipped out of consciousness, my thoughts began to clear. _I must be dying,_ I thought hopefully, and despite myself, I smiled. _Mother...I'll see you soon... _

I dully realized that I was thrown into a dark cell before sleep washed over me.

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><p>Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and for all I knew, those months turned into years. As I began to settle into the monotony of this life, my visions began to falter. At first, I was overtaken by the hysteria, but as soon as I did, it was back to the electric shocks. I eventually learned that it wasn't worth the fight. Sometimes, I got them when I wasn't even fighting.<p>

After a while, my memories began to fade, until I wasn't sure what I was doing here anymore. Every electric pulse killed more of my memory until I didn't even know who I was. I couldn't see anything but death, but the thought of that comforted me. In the dark, it was easy to grasp that I was just as mad as they had told me.

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><p>"Hello, there."<p>

The warm, friendly voice broke through my sleeping one day. I woke up, instantly conscious. If there was one thing I learned from this place, it was not to trust anyone. Instantly wary, I glared at the voice that I couldn't see.

"Who's there?" I asked groggily. "Go away."

I heard a laugh - it was a soft male laugh, like a bell ringing. "I'm not going to hurt you, dear," he said quietly. "I just came to see how you were doing."

Something about this man was familiar to me, and I realized that I had a vision of him once - my visions hardly made sense anymore, so I didn't believe it at the time.

I nodded once. "Oh. Okay," I said. Although I was still expecting this man to torture me, something deep down told me to trust him.

He laughed that peculiar laugh again. "You're such a sweet thing," he said affectionately. "What is your name?"

I shook my head. "Huh?"

He sighed very gently. "I see," he murmured. "You don't know. You remind me so much of _her_...Come to think of it, I think they said your name _was_ Alice."

I suddenly twitched when he said the name. I dimly wondered why.

"Alice?" he asked hopefully. For some reason, I nodded. I could almost hear his smile in his response. "Then I guess it's settled. You will be my little Alice."

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><p>For the first time in what felt like forever, I woke up screaming. I realized, while I was screaming, that it was not a dream I had at all - it was a vision. A terrifying one, at that.<p>

I saw a man with very pale skin, white as snow. There wasn't much that distinguished him from anyone else I knew, yet I knew that he wasn't your average person. He had a sinister look in his eyes, which were a deep, blood red. The man had his teeth bared, snarling the most horrible snarl, before he lunged at me.

I saw a bright light as the door burst open, one of the nurses glared at me with vicious eyes. I cringed at the sight - she was almost as terrifying as the man from my vision.

"What - are - you - doing?" she snarled as she made her way to me. She grabbed me, and I thrashed about.

"No!" I cried. "Stop! Go away!" I knew what was coming next, and I wasn't ready. Wasn't it bad enough that I had that vision? Why did they have to make everything worse?

A hiss from the doorway froze both the nurse and me.

"Stop right there," the voice threatened. The woman dropped me, and I stopped thrashing at once. It was _him _- the man who spoke to be before! The one who called me Alice...

"Don't touch her," he said, and it sounded like he was trying hard to stay calm. "There's nothing wrong with her."

"She started screaming," the nurse said, exasperated. "She's disturbing the other patients - there's only one answer for that."

But he shook his head. "She had a nightmare," he said quietly. "Is that really so horrible?" The nurse glared at him, but she didn't question his decision. She simply walked away. The man closed the door and turned toward me.

"Alice?" he asked, his previous frustration washing away. "What's wrong, darling? What did you see?"

I wondered how he knew about that. I shook my head quickly. "A man," I spluttered out. "He had red eyes...He tried to hurt me." It didn't really make that much sense to me, it seemed to make sense to him. He shook his head angrily.

"I should have known," he muttered. "This is not good...Well, listen, Alice, you're safe with me. I promise, I won't let anyone hurt you."

And somehow, I believed him.

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><p>That man, who I began to realize was a doctor, came to me almost every day after that. He was fascinated by my ability to see things, and ran little tests with me. He would bring objects and hold one up, asking me to see which one he chose. It wasn't hard, and was actually sort of fun. I didn't remember what fun was like, and it comforted me. It made me feel like there was something more for me than death.<p>

However, things weren't always so great. The visions of the man with the dark red eyes still continued, and became scarier as time went on. It took all of my effort not to scream, because I knew that the doctor wouldn't always be around to protect me from the electric shocks.

Sometimes, I told the doctor about my fears. He always took me very seriously, something that I appreciated. He promised me that I would never be in harm's way.

But one day, that must have changed.

I saw something earlier, something that scared me. The doctor and the man from my visions were fighting - and the man won. I guess the doctor saw it too, because, not long after I had the vision, he frantically burst into my room.

"Come on, Alice!" he said quickly. "We have to go! Now!" He pulled me up off the ground.

"Huh?" I asked, not understanding. He let out a low hiss of frustration, and I felt something stab into my neck.

My eyes widened, tears forming from the sheer betrayal. He told me that he would never hurt me, yet he just injected me with that foul medicine! I waited for the normal calm to wash over me, but I felt nothing but a strange heat on the spot where he pricked me. A heat that was beginning to spread, I realized, as he picked me up and carried me away.

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><p>"Where are we going?" I managed to choke out as I felt the air rush against my face. We were (thankfully) outside of the asylum now, and I could tell that we were going very fast. The fire had spread throughout my whole body, and I was in worse pain than I've ever felt before. If I had to choose between electric shocks and this pain, I would have chosen the electric shocks in a heartbeat.<p>

"Don't worry, Alice," was all I got in response, and I was suddenly aware that we had stopped. I felt him set me down on the ground, and I looked up at my friend.

"You will be fine," he promised me, his voice soothing. "Just stay here until it's over. You will thank me for this later, though you will never see me again, I'm afraid." I could see the pain in his face, and I somehow knew this was true. The vision played in my mind again - he was going off to fight, and he was going to lose.

He smiled at me, a serene and genuine smile. "I love you, Alice," he said softly before he leaned down and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes, and then, he was gone.

All alone, I had nothing left to do but let the pain envelope me.

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><p>It felt like an eternity, but eventually, the pain stopped. I opened my eyes, and was taken aback by the beauty of what I saw: I was in the middle of a forest, and I could see everything with more clarity than I could ever imagine. However, I couldn't marvel at the natural beauty for too long, because I was suddenly taken by a vision.<p>

I saw a man, more beautiful than any other man I've ever seen before. He was tall and blonde, with scars covering his face, but to me, he was the loveliest being I had ever seen. _Jasper, _I realized. _His name is Jasper Whitlock._ I saw that he was wandering... He was north now, perhaps in Pennsylvania. I was struck with a feeling of love, an adoration stronger than anything I've ever felt before. I had to find this man.

The vision changed. I saw myself with Jasper, and with five others who I have never seen before. Their eyes were golden, and somehow, I knew they were just like us. _Vampires._ The utter truth of that statement didn't frighten me - that's just how it is. I knew each one of them. Carlisle. Esme. Emmett. Rosalie. Edward. Jasper and I needed them, and they needed us. We were to adapt to their unique lifestyle...Of eating animals, instead of humans. I smiled softly, feeling more affection than I ever thought possible.

Coming back to the present, I tried to think of how I got here. I somehow knew that something important happened to me, but I just couldn't recall it. I realized, sadly, that human memories were always quick to fade. I sighed softly and looked around. I had a mission, a purpose to life now, and I was ready to begin.


End file.
